Ichron's Story Time

[Ichron]

So it's been a few months since I've had a story time. In the past I told you of Coyote Ugly and visiting the one in Tampa, which led to the penalty shots performed on me and 2 of my friends (how the 4th escaped it, I don't know). I told you about how Emo sucks. Now comes installment number three:

Ichron and Strip Clubs.

You know my personality and language, so if you're offended by talk about tits, clits, coked out whores, and the like, then back out of the thread now, this is your only warning. This entire set of stories is pretty long, but fuck you, I'm not breaking it up into chapters. Just come back and read each part separately if you have fucking ADD or something. Fuck you, I'm also not going to split it into paragraphs. Each set of the story will have its own paragraph, but aside from that, learn to read a block of text because that's all you're getting.

I'm only going to touch on some of the more memorable events. First I'll give you a little background.

I am not much of a titty bar client, but I am no stranger to them. In the 8 years since my first visit, I have been maybe 5 or 6 times, averaging less than once a year visiting them. I would say that's pretty sparingly. Mostly it's for special occasions, such as a friend's bachelor party, or spring break, or a birthday...something like that.

My brother is 8 years older than me, and played football in college. Since football teams are more diverse in where the people are from than your average class, he met people from a lot of places, one being St. Petersburg, Florida. My brother spent a few spring breaks in St. Pete during his college days, and knew the area somewhat. My family really likes that area, and we visited it a few times. One time we visited over New Year's, and on New Year's Eve, my brother was talking with his friend. He is 24, and I am 16. They decided to go out somewhere...and but both look at me, knowing fully I cannot get into any kind of place at all because I have no fake id, and am nowhere near legal age, but they decide I need to go with them anyways. While on the ride, my brother asks me where I want to go...I of course said I had no idea, I do not know the city, and I'm only 16. So his friend says, how about Mons Venus. That is when my brother looked and said, "You're going to the king of all strip clubs right off the bat." Mons Venus is in Tampa, just a short drive across the bay from St. Pete. Needless to say, I was way out of my element, but eventually became acclimated. This place is beyond what most strip clubs are. In Kentucky, you must sit with your hands to your side, and never touch the dancer. If the dancer is nude, there is to be minimal or no contact from her to you. In this club in Florida, the only rule was there is no touching between her legs. I was chilling with my brother and his friend, and it's obvious some of these girls are totally strung out. One of them asks my brother's friend if he wants a dance, and he got one, and comes back to us and sits down. No more than 5 minutes later, this girl comes by and asks my brother's friend if he wants a dance, to which he says you just gave me one. She realizes this and laughs and then walks...maybe 5 feet, turns around, walks up to us again, and asks him once more if he wants a dance. It looks like some chemicals are destroying her short term memory. One other time a girl came up and asked my brother if he wanted a dance, to which my brother's friend jumps in with, "Oh man, she gave me a dance earlier, she's the best girl here," and of course the stripper thanks him for the compliment...but then he says, "You never gave me a dance, you dumb bitch." She obviously can't remember anything either. At any rate, my first experience in a club was one of me being underage, with no real rules about contact during dances. What a night.

Fast forward 6 years and I am in college and going on spring break with some friends. Not the rich kind, we opt for a thrifty spring break. Remember how my family likes the St. Pete area? My parents own a condo there, so 4 of us drive down and crash there for the week. One of the nights when the bars were slower, we decided to go hit a titty bar. I'd not been in 6 years, but I remembered the Mons. I told them we had to go there. They were more versed in the show-your-ass-for-cash clubs than I was, and assumed from my story that it was only an underaged kid with raging hormones driving the story, but agreed to go. They assumed the club would be much like the Kentucky ones. When we get on the interstate to head towards Tampa, we ran into some construction, and they were content to turn around and head somewhere else, saying, "Tits are tits, let's go somewhere else," but we stuck with it and arrived at the street that the Mons is located. We stopped and ate at a restaurant across the street, and as we were finishing, I made sure to tell them not to go crazy. Do not get a dance early in the night, or else you'll be wanting more and will drop money left and right and be broke. Just pick out the girl you want, wait for close to the end of our night to roll, around, and when she drops by, accept the invitation to have a lapdance. One of my friends (we'll call him Blaine) was barred from his then fiance, now wife, from having any dances. One (we'll call him Ben) had a girlfriend who looked like a wildebeest, but that's neither here nor there. The other 2 of us were single (I'll call my single friend Dane). Ben seems not too interested in the night, calm, generally out of it.

So we end up in the club, and there's 4 of us but only 3 open seats, so we look for another. Ben says no need, he's tired of sitting and wants to stand, so the other 3 of us sit and he stands behind us. We shoot the shit for a bit, and sometime between 15 and 30 minutes of us being there, we ask Ben something but get no answer...we look behind us and he's on the couch (these couches are completely open - no semi-private booths for couch dances, everyone gets to see the girl drop trou and grind your junk) getting a dance. Blaine is holding true to his promise and not getting any dances, but has to leave every half hour to hour and call his fiance. Eventually he talks her into some wild sex when he gets back (he'd been cut off due to a pregnancy scare). He was happy at that. We get ready to leave, and Ben says he wants one more dance. Since we all wanted to leave, but there is also the unspoken rule of no man left behind, I volunteer to wait for him to get a dance and then we'll head out. He finds his girl and gets a dance, while I chill waiting by the door. He's been with this girl for a long time, and I'm starting to wonder what the fuck is up, and just then a girl happens by and asks if I want a dance. I said fuck it, I'm tired of just standing here waiting for my friend, yeah, I'll take a dance. So this girl takes me over to the couch and sits me down...right beside Ben. There is a mirror facing the couches in the club, and so you can see both angles of the girls when you're getting a dance, but that also means people beside you can see as well. Ben is getting either his 3rd or 4th dance, and I see the stripper working his shit like she's kneading bread with her asscheeks, and she gives a thumbs up to the girl who is dancing for me. I was somewhat puzzled at this, but figured nothing of it. The dance finishes, we leave. Later on, I told Blaine and Dane of the final event in the club, and they kind of laughed (we found out later Ben had dropped $240 in the club... ) At any rate, Blaine jokingly says, "So, Ben. Did you cum a little?" to which he replied, "MORE THAN A LITTLE!" Wow...that's something I didn't need to hear...someone saying they unloaded a batch in their pants while a stripper was on them, but the setup and delivery was fucking classic, and of course is an inside joke phrase with us to this day...MORE THAN A LITTLE! They of course had to concede that my description of the place was right, and how they would never look at strip clubs the same. If there was ever a club to drop a paycheck in, this was the one. I saw a few weeks later something on 60 Minutes about the place, which I would assume somewhat justifies their self proclaimed status of World Famous. There is also a poster that has funny and famous signs from around the United States...and Mons Venus is listed, with their sign saying, "Have your laptop serviced."

Jump 2 years in the future to recently. So graduation comes, and it's time for the partying to be on. The problem is, one friend (I'll call him Terrell) is only 19, so he can't go to any bars with us, but we plan on doing something, and again, no man left behind. Where can you go with someone under 21? Well, how about a titty bar? We need to celebrate some how, so we decide it's time to visit once again. This time we go to Deja Vu in Lexington, Kentucky.

This is what happened to both me and Terrell (other friends are there, but uninvolved in the story).

First off, the dances here are topless, with a decent amount of contact, but there is one deal that they run in which you get one dance topless, the next fully nude, for $10 off of the normal price of 2 regular dances. It's not a bad deal, and if you want, you can have the second dance topless only. So I say yes to one of the girls who asks if I want a dance. Her stripper name is Tori. Tori and I go to one of the semi-private couches for this deal that they call The Deal of the Century. In this club, the drinks are free because it's an 18 and over club and no alcohol is served. You are able to buy these free drinks for the strippers, though...but it is less of buying them a drink and more of a way to tip the girl without flat out giving her the money, so it seems like less of a waste of money by just giving her more than what the dance costs. Anyways, when asked if I want to buy this dancer a drink, I decided, sure, what's another $5? So they bring her the drink while she's dancing. It's the topless part of the dance, and she's doing her work pretty good, this dancer had some skills. Then came the first of the unexpectedness. She tells me I need to unbutton my shirt so she could boob my chest. Ok...that never happened before, but sure. I unbutton my shirt and say, "I have another shirt on underneath this," and she says, "That's not a problem," and reaches down and untucks my shirt...hmm. So she's rubbing on my chest, and the nude part of the dance comes up. She gets fully nude, grabs her drink and pulls out a piece of ice and sucks it clean, then proceeds to rub this ice on her snapper...again...hmm. That's something that's never happened in a dance before. She tosses the ice aside and then begins to explore herself like Lewis and Clark trying to get to the Pacific. What does she do then? Shocks the hell out of me by then sticking her finger to my face...though I'm not sure if she was trying to wipe it on my lip or have me smell it, I was just floored. Once more, what the fuck is going on...this has never happened, but hey, I'm not complaining. She then says that there is only so much looking you can do, and say she wants to ride some more...so, she throws back on the thong, climbs aboard the Ichron Express and goes to town for the rest of the dance. Well...that was...awkward, yet, intriguing. She then comes to the table me and my bud are at and talks with us for about an hour to and hour and a half. I ask her what her name is, since she didn't tell me before. She says that her name is Tori, but her real name is (withholding name here). Hmm, stripper dropping her real name voluntarily for no reason whatsoever. Then Cody comes on to the stage to dance, and Tori looks at her, and comments on how hot she is. Tori asks if we want to see her kiss Cody, so of course we're not turning it down, but Tori is out of 1 dollar bills, so I hand her one to give to Cody. She walks up to the stage, motions Cody over, and then gives a pretty fucking hot kiss, then sucks on her nipples at the stage...to the point that the DJ stops the music and just has to make the comment, "Now that's what the fuck I'm talking about." Anyways, Tori comes back and continues talking to us. I find out a lot about her, but she kept returning to the topic of the VIP room. I knew she wanted to go back there, but I was in no way going to spend that kind of money, but she kept at the talk about it. She then makes the comment of how guys always ask her to go back there, she never asks them (hah, then why the fuck will you not stop talking about it? I know you want to go back there). That is where that story ends...somewhat.

So my friend Terrell is deciding he wants to get a dance, but he doesn't know who from. I spotted a girl I had recognized and said, "I got a dance from her like 7 months ago, she wasn't bad." It so happens that this girl was one that Terrell had been debating on picking, and that sealed the deal. He gets a dance from this girl, but she apparently has a tough time dancing for him. Why? Her given reason is she finds him too attractive to actually do the dance because she'd get too worked up. Yeah...sure, stripper talk, she's just running some game to get more money, right? But her actions seemed to point in the direction of her not lying. Either way, it's a coin flip on whether she's playing him or not.

Then comes my birthday this Saturday, and a lot of my friends leave town (fuckers) but I'm not skipping out on doing something for my birthday. Terrell is the last one left in town, but since he's not 21, we can't go to a bar...what do we do? Titties! So we head back, and by now Terrell has actually visited the club with some friends of his in the marines who were heading off to basic and then most likely Iraq - so they needed a good time out, since they weren't going to have one for the next 30 months. He spots this girl again, and once more she cannot dance from him, and he talks with her and she tells him her real name, but says she cannot tell him her phone number because it's against the rules. She does tell him where she goes to college and tell him to look her up on Facebook. Heh. Now that we're back in the club again, she spots him and comes over to talk. This girl is all over him at the table, not even in the dancing couch area. She's taking ice and sticking her hands down his shirt and rubbing it all over him, and they're talking (or rather looking, for some reason he apparently made the stripper shy...and he was pretty shy, no idea why). I catch out of the corner of my eye this stripper, whose stripper name is Rose, giving a dance to a girl. I laugh and point it out to Terrell. After the dance, Rose comes back to our table to play around with him some more, and he asks how she liked the dance with a girl. Rose responded, "I like girls!" Ok...wow. Apparently she's bisexual (cross-referenced on her facebook profile where it says she's interested in both men and women). I'm trying not to listen to much (I know he'll tell me the details later anyways). I do hear her says she only got 4 hours a sleep the night before. Her response as to why? Well, she goes to a college that's about 35 miles away, so for the weekend she stays with other strippers so she doesn't have to make the drive. She's staying with...none other than Tori. Apparently she went home the night before pretty fucking horny, and Tori had to take care of her. Yep, apparently Tori swings both ways as well. Of course, interest piqued, she's asked if all the strippers mess around with each other, which is met with a guilty smile and a, "Yes..." Mindfuck ahoy. Now I can no longer imagine one stripper without another one munching her box. That's a mental image right there. Holy bisexual hot bitches who aren't afraid to bare it all, Batman! On top of that, later in the night I saw Rose reach up and start playing with Cody while she was in a semi-private dance booth (hmm, lesbian threesome triangle with Tori, Cody, and Rose? Yes, please!).

Also, my 2 night haul from there included 2 free porn movies (5 hour lesbian porn, and an all latina porn) and 2 free passes. What can I say? Strippers love a guy with Blessing of Protection.

Of course, as I said before, it's my birthday, right?! What do they do with the birthday boys at Deja Vu? Well, they take you up on the stage and each stripper gets to do whatever the fuck she wants to do with you, then they take a polaroid of the strippers posing with you. I'd seen this one other time I was there when it was a girl patron's birthday (I know she had to have been put up to it by her boyfriend, she wasn't the most involved, but tried to have fun anyways). During the picture, one of the strippers snuck her arms to the girl's shirt and lifted it up during the picture. Sneaky bitch, oh well, that's a memorable picture for her now I'm sure. Anyways, here's the picture. I took the liberty of editing myself out, because I know what types of fuckers are reading this, and I know what shit they're capable of doing. I'm not going to give you THAT much ammo, you'll just have to deal with what you already have.

So, here we have me on a chair on stage with the strippers surrounding me. I have a damn near photographic memory, how else did I make it through school without so much as cracking a book? Anyways, because of that, I will be able to tell you who each ass belongs to and a little about them, so here we go.

From left to right:

Ariana (white bottoms with the 2 black money straps on her thighs) - she's got some junk in the trunk, but makes it bobble with some extra bounce and works it well.

Brianna (white bottoms, black thong, tattoos on her spine) - hot bitch, amazing face, looks better with red hair though (reference at bottom of page...yes, I have her picture, once again...what can I say? Strippers love me).

Dakota (red bikini, turned sideways, arm stretched up on pole) - pierced eyebrow and lower lip, pierced nipples, pierced clit, fair number of tattoos, but very fit and petite, can work her ass like nobody's business...and likes to purr in your ear (hehehe).

Gauge (girl beside pole with blue bottoms on) - bigass titties, and when it's you get taken on stage, she likes to beat you senseless with them.

Alyssa (barely can see her, she's in the back, you can see her face somewhat, and a necklace shining) - HOLY SHIT what can I say about her? Pretty tall, legs that go on for days, but they're attached to the most smoking body, perfect tits (thank you to her doctor) that are not overdone, and a simply amazing face (reference at bottom of page...once again, yeah, I got her picture, so what...look at those fucking legs). Also...she likes to breath in your ear...and moan. Yeah...

Jade (pink outfit, tattoo on small of back, wearing like a waist chain or some shit) - hot bitch, and is apparently a contestant in the upcoming deepthroat contest (what I wouldn't give to be what they're competing on, but I guess they'll use bananas or some shit).

Cody (boots, white lace bottom, tattoo on small of back) - fucking amazing looking, has a pierced clit, and not afraid to stick some fingers in her nethers for you. You've already heard about her.

Those in the back you can't see are Rose (who likes to purr and moan in your ear...), Tori, Emma (really petite, not much going on upstairs, but killer ass, and full of energy, long blonde hair, could probably ride you for hours) and the 2006 showgirl of the year with the most amazing pole moves you'll ever see, Sondra. I'm pretty sure that covers all of the girls. Anyways...here's the pictures (click them for a little better quality, the messageboard seems to give them jaggies):

My birthday picture:


Brianna:


Alyssa:

[Noan]

Bored at work?

Anyway, best edited photo evar. I rofled

[Kindeshin]

I <3 Ichron.

[Thellos]

hahahahaha picture wins the internet.



link to the coyota ugly story plz.

[Ichron]

hahahahaha picture wins the internet.



link to the coyota ugly story plz.

http://aenigma-guild.net/forums/viewtopic.php?p=568

[Ichron]

Oh, hey, ancient thread update time. Like anyone will see it. Anyway.

Ichron is now 29 years old, has moved back to Lexington, KY, and is in pharmacy school pursuing a Doctor of Pharmacy degree. Yeah, I can't get enough class, can I?

Anyway, since we've fast forwarded from 2005 to now, Terrell is obviously of age to go to clubs that serve alcohol, and another friend is still in Lexington. From time to time we'll hit a titty bar because that's what we do.

It was the usual in the titty bar scene, except a different club is now the spot to go because everyone is of age to do it. Platinum Plus is this club. There are still the standard rules of contact with strippers and customers in Lexington, however the dancers are pretty often willing to break the rules and let you touch them. Depends on the club, depends on the girl.

So we go out every now and then. Not all that often because 19 hours of doctoral level classes in pharmacy fuck the ever living shit out of any free time I have. October is breast cancer awareness month. I'm sure most people see NFL players wearing pink and all that and know about it. Well, November is prostate cancer awareness month for the guys. To raise awareness, there's No Shave November (or Movember I guess in some places where you grow a mustache). As part of a fund raiser, I participated in No Shave November and grew a beard. I don't know what it is, but as soon as I grew the beard, shit started going down in the club. Not attempting to whatsoever, strippers are just like, throwing their numbers at me. I think the term instead of, "By the beard of Zeus" is now, "By the beard of Ichron." I'm no Mr. GQ walking up into the club, but you guys know me. I hold an engaging conversation, pepper it with my own sense of humor, and am just an all around badass.

Pharmacy school tests differently than other programs. The teachers don't decide when they want to test you in their class (you know, some classes you could have just a midterm and a final, or 4 tests, whatever the teacher wanted). Every fucking class is tested in the same 3 day span. It's a gigantic fuck you every time tests roll around. So I was studying for a set of tests one Monday night. We're allowed to study in the pharmacy building until midnight, then they kick us out. I was there with my study partner, and we were working on some shit and I get a picture text from one of my friends, Andrew. It's him doing some cheesy ass pose in some boots he just bought. He says he knows I probably can't make it, but they're going to Platinum and tells me I should try to make it. I respond that I can't, I'm studying. Then the night starts to get filled with drunken texts from Andrew and Terrell. As the night wears on, the texts get drunker and drunker. Then I get a phone call. They are trying to tell me to come out there because they decided to go to the VIP section that night. Then they hand the phone off to some stripper who tries to convince me to come out. Then came more drunk texts...and by then I figure, welp I have to go get my drunk friends after I'm done studying. So I finish my studying, and head to the club to get my drunken friends. I have class the next morning at 10:00 AM, and it's just past midnight, so I figure since I'm an insomniac anyway, I can afford an hour or two to hang out, then I can take them home and still get a good 5 hours of sleep. That's when the night spiraled into the type of night that you talk about all the time, and the legend grows and things get embellished. However, I will not embellish the story at all.

I show up, pay the cover, and head to the VIP section where my friends are. Of course, in the VIP, the girls flow like spice. That's the point of it being VIP. I sit down, and they've got a gigantic fucking bottle of Ciroc vodka. A stripper pours me a drink, and I start having a conversation with my friends. Andrew appears the drunkest between him and Terrell, so I'm keeping my eye on him. I have a drink, which is probably about 4 shots of vodka and maybe a splash of cranberry. I stop with that so I can drive later. Eventually a girl comes up and I decide to go get some dances from her so we go back to the couch area. She dances okay, but doesn't allow a lot of contact, I'm not all that interested, and after a couple songs I return to my friends. Andrew has this stripper straddling him in his lap, and they're talking, but not for long. Eventually, he more or less drops her out of his lap, and I am sitting somewhat facing him, and I notice and I reach my hand out and brace her to keep her from falling. She has her back to me, and my hand is on the small of her back keeping her from ending up in the floor. I ask if she's okay, and she looks at me, and says yes. She puts her left hand on my left knee to keep herself from falling, because Andrew has no fucking clue what he's doing at this point because he's so drunk. So she then puts her right hand on my right knee, and eventually just makes a transition from his lap to mine entirely. We talk for a while, and I decide I kinda like this girl, so we go get some dances. She allows me to touch her tits and such. No big deal, I've had that before in the club. Then she starts to put her tits in my face and basically hovers them hinting I need to suck on them some. I oblige. Then there's a bit of making out as well. Well, this is going a bit farther than most dances. Then she turns around and sits with her back to me and is grinding. She grabs my hands and slips them between her legs. Hey there, finger on a clit. The bouncers walk by fairly frequently to make sure things are on the up and up in the back (heh, up and up). She notices one and says, "Oh shit, bouncer" and stands up. Then she says, "I'm going to put my pussy in your face." Hmm, alrighty then. And she does. So I give her a nice lick clit to chin, and we finish up dancing shortly after. She says she wants to give me her number and tells me to text her later so she can have mine. Sure thing, will do. I'm unsure if it's a real number because hey, stripper...they give out fake shit all the time to guys as part of their hustle. So she writes he number on a napkin, and I go back to my friends. Eventually she rejoins us after she goes to the back for a few minutes. She doesn't hang around long because it's getting a bit late, and she says she's leaving, but to text her. While I was back in the couch area getting dances, Terrell has disappeared. I figured it was about time to leave because it was 2:00 AM. I ask Andrew where Terrell went. He said he went to go get a dance. So I'm looking back toward the couch area thinking he can't be any more than 10 minutes or so.

He doesn't show...then a stripper comes up and says, "Hey, your friend has my sister back in the champagne room." Ah, FUCK! That's at least an hour, my sleep is going to be messed up. She tries to convince me to go back to one of the private champagne rooms with her while he's back there with her sister. No way, bitch. I'm not paying $300 for a bottle of champagne, plus $300 for an hour of your time. So I spend the next bit herding my drunken friend Andrew, having to pick him up off the floor quite a few times. Eventually Terrell surfaces...well past the hour I expected. It's damn near impossible to get him out of the club, and he's far, far more drunk than Andrew at this point. Andrew had stopped drinking at last call...but I guess the champagne room has no last call, and Terrell knocked out quite a bit of a bottle of champagne on top of what he had been drinking before going to the club as well as in the club. I manage to get my drunk friends out of the club...at 4:00 AM. Terrell mentions he spent $1000 in the champagne room. Holy shit.

So I get them in my Jeep, and both are too damn drunk to get their seatbelts on. I say fuck it, we're a 5 minute drive from their place, I'll just get them there, go home, and sleep for 3 and a half hours. Terrell often spits when he's drunk. He starts to spit...in my Jeep. I'm like hey, stop that shit. You lean out the window and spit like you do when you're in your car. So I roll the window down, and he's spitting outside. Then this dumb motherfucker opens my car door, while leaning out. So he's hanging on my car door, which is open, spitting out of the moving vehicle, with no seatbelt on. My friend Andrew is in the back and he's yelling at Terrell to get back in the car. Eventually, we wrangle him back in, shut the door, and Andrew is holding him in his seat so he doesn't do that shit again. It looks like Terrell might puke, so I ask if he needs to puke, he says no, he's okay. Then shortly after he starts to say, "Stop the caaaaaar!" in a I need to puke way, so I stop at a stop light and he opens the door, steps out, and stumbles a couple steps. I figure he's about to puke...but what does this motherfucker do? He perks up and says, I'M FREE! and throws his hands in the air and takes off running. He jumps a ditch, and runs up a hill into a shopping center. FUCK! Missing drunk friend at 4:00 AM! Andrew says, "Oh man, I better go get him!" and he takes off after Terrell. FUCK! Two missing drunks. My car doors are open now as well. I can't leave my car in the middle of an intersection, so I just floor it and let momentum shut my doors GTA style. I look at the hill next to me in case Terrell runs down it on my side so I can intercept him. He's not there, so I pull a u-turn at the closest place, go back, and get into the shopping center and circle it for about 10 minutes looking for the drunkards. I have no idea what the fuck to do because I have 2 drunk friends lost there, it's now nearly 4:30 AM, and I have class in the morning with my alarm set for 8:00 AM. Then I see Andrew fireman carrying Terrell like it's something out of Superbad. I pull up to them, honk the horn, and Andrew is covered in sweat from chasing Terrell. Andrew is putting Terrell in the back seat, but Terrell has no muscle tone at this point, and he smashes his face like a fucking knockout punch right into the door handle. I jump out and run back to look and see if he's out cold or anything. Fucker's laughing, so we push his drunk ass in the back seat finally, and lock the door. Andrew gets in the front this time. Terrell begins to spit...again. All over the back of my Jeep. Then somehow he manages to unlock AND open my door...with his feet...while wearing shoes. What the hell? We get the door shut, get them home, and Terrell to bed.

Andrew left his car at the club, and needs it for work in the morning. My plan was for Terrell to drive Andrew to his car after sobering up, that way I could go home and sleep for class. That clearly wasn't happening, and Andrew by now is fairly sober because he hadn't had anything to drink for a few hours and just did some rigorous chasing of a drunk guy and carrying him. I take him back to the club, and he gets his car and gets home. I text the stripper, she actually responds back...real number. Okay, cool. I exchange a few texts over the next week, but then the conversation between us stops.

Fast forward a couple weeks, and we're back in the club, this time it's Terrell and another friend, but no Andrew. I spend the night talking to another stripper, getting to know her, and I get a few dances. She tells me to look her up on Facebook. I do, but she only uses Facebook on her phone, which is a jacked up Boost Mobile one and it doesn't work for shit, so she never gets my messages. Eventually we're back in the club a couple weeks later and she just gives me her number. She talks a lot more than the other stripper did, and we keep conversation for a while. We actually plan to hang out outside the club when I invited her to a party. She ends up standing me up for the party, but I go with Terrell to it and get pretty well drunk, and what do you do when you're drunk and you get stood up by a stripper? See if she's at work, right? So we do that. Yep, there she is...on stage as I walk in. I sit down, and a stripper comes up and starts talking to us. I mention that the girl on stage and I were supposed to go out that night but she stood me up. The other stripper suggests going up to tip her, say, "I thought we had plans" and see what happens. She said she'd come with me. Hey, good idea, I'll do that. So I do...and the stripper on stage stops immediately, walks up to me, wraps her arms around me, leans in, and starts crying and apologizing. She stops her dance to do that, heh. So after she's done dancing, I avoid her most of the night, but at the end as I was leaving, she was standing by the bar near the door, and I stop behind her, she turns around, sees me, grabs me and takes me to a table to try to explain. She feeds a story that is inconsequential to this update, so I'll spare you that. We continue communication after that.

Fast forward a few weeks again, and it's now December 30, and my drunken friends call me up, and I'm their ride. Where do they want to go? Platinum. So I drop my girlfriend off where she's staying (I'll get to this in a minute...at that time, she wasn't me girlfriend, we were just kind of talking a bit). I go pick up my friends, and we go to Platinum. It's busy as hell because everyone has the day off pretty much. It's Friday night, and the night before New Year's Eve. While there, it's just a normal night in the club. I'm just hanging out with my friends, looking at tits and such. Then a girl comes up and starts talking to me. She's not from this area - she lives in Knoxville, Tennessee. Apparently the laws there suck so the clubs there suck, and she travels around finding places to work. She said she'd been in South Carolina, New Orleans, all over this general area. We talk for quite a while, and Andrew continues to hit on her the whole time. She's playing it off, but talks to him quite a bit. Probably more than to me. I get up to go take a piss, and I come back and she's sitting next to him talking. I find out later she is actually asking him how to get me to like her because she can't get a read on me. Eventually she hands me her phone, and tells me to put in my number. I put in my number, she calls me up right in front of me so I can see it's her, and so I can have her number. She tells me she wants to hang out when she's back in town, because I'm a nice guy. She wants to get something to eat when she's back in town, and then iterates that she doesn't want me to buy her dinner or anything, she legitimately wants to hang out. That's cool, whenever that will be.

So that's 3 numbers, without me asking for them, in less than 2 months. The power of the beard. Now, for a nice addition to the update. Remember I mention my girlfriend? Well...one night after I took my finals for last semester, I was bored and decide to text stripper #1 who gave me her number. She responds, and we start talking again. I hadn't seen her at the club since the night we met, which is weird because while we didn't go all the time, we went a decent amount and should have seen her. Apparently the night I met her, it was her first night working in the club in over 3 years because she had stopped and was working elsewhere (a legit job). She isn't doing that anymore for some reason (I'll find that out later, I haven't asked her yet, I don't want to yet). So the night I met her she was just starting back dancing after a 3 year hiatus. Then I don't see her for over a month...because she actually lands another legit job. The problem is her asshole ex came in and caused a scene, and ended up getting her fired. Because of that...she had to start dancing again to get money while looking for more work. It just so happens she started back around the time I texted her, and she was at the club. We talk for a bit through texts that night, and I decide ah, fuck it, why not? I go see her at the club. We talk quite a bit, I get some dances from her, and we continue to talk for a while through texts and whatnot after that. I see her outside the club some. Eventually, we get to where we are now. Stripper #1 is now my girlfriend, so Ichron is dating a stripper. Following are pictures of her, and another picture with the following explanation. She was dancing one night, and had this skirt on along with her bra and panties. She decides she doesn't want to wear the skirt anymore that night, and hands it to me and tells me to take it home with me. No big deal, I'll just give it to her later. I actually see her a day or two later, and I try to give it back, she says no, it's for me to keep. What the hell do you do with a stripper skirt? I don't even know. Anyway, pictures:



Do you blame me?



She's the one on the left (obviously). Do you really blame me?


The skirt I have no idea what to do with is at this link. Too big of a picture to embed here and I don't feel like resizing it. http://i9.photobucket.com/albums/a70/Ic ... 03_527.jpg

[Ichron]

Update time again.

Local radio station morning show was running a contest every Wednesday that caller whatever got a VIP party at the strip club and a chance to roll for a trip to Vegas. Back in February, I was parking my car, getting ready to go to class one morning, and they ran the contest. I call in, happened to win that week's VIP party and chance to roll for a trip. So I end up having a VIP party, and oh, hey, Knoxville's friend just happens to drive up from Tennessee to the club. She actually asks Knoxville for a picture of me so she knew who I was because she came to see me. She's like, "I hope that's not too creepy." Anyway, what happens like 2-3 days later? I get a Facebook friend request from her. She went through her friend's friends list and found me and asked for a friend invite. Welp. She hasn't been back to Lexington since, but she was going to try to a few weeks ago and it didn't work out. I actually haven't been back to the club since that night because of the following...

I've since dumped Stripper #1 because of shit she was doing. So she's hit rock bottom again. Oh well, perhaps she should have thought about that before she did the shit she did. She was addicted to prescription pills - loved crushing and snorting Xanax, which as a pharmacy student, I'll tell you makes absolutely no sense at all from any standpoint. It's highly bioavailable when taken orally, is fast acting, is FULL of excipients because it's a low dose tablet...nothing at all makes sense to snort it. Anyway, because she was addicted to those, she needed a way to pay for it and stripping wasn't doing so...she started prostituting. Yeah, fuuuck that. I ditched her.

In the meantime, I became good friends with Stripper #2. She's actually stopped stripping and has a legit job Simply talking, nothing more. Until last night. I got pretty drunk. While she was cowgirling it, she leaned over and told me I was the reason she broke up with her ex. Oops.

[Precision]

this continues to be awesome. I'm moving from NYC to TN relatively soon. We might have to throw down.

[Ichron]

Hell yeah.

[Precision]

You in Lexington?

[Ichron]

Yeah man. Lexington for school for another couple years before I have rotations for pharmacy school.

[Ichron]

Okie dokie. So I have a friend who is from China and he just turned 21 this summer. He'd been to the aforementioned Deja Vu which doesn't have alcohol and allows anyone over 18 to enter. He'd never been to Platinum Plus. As you know from my previous installments, Deja Vu doesn't compare in the least to Platinum Plus. Last week he sends me a message asking if we can go to Platinum after our pharmacy exams that were coming up were finished. Well, we finished them today, so we went to a bar, had something to eat and drank a little, then hit the strip club.

So I was getting dances from this girl who dances under the name Sam. Interestingly enough, that's what the one I dated for a while's real name is (well, Samantha, but I called her Sam). Anyway, my opinion on strippers is they're people, too. Don't push any boundaries, and before you know it, the boundaries start to go away more because they're comfortable with you and see you're not a prick who was trying to feel them up before they ever even started dancing. So I don't touch this girl for a while. Some girls don't like you touching them, and by not doing it, you show respect and even ones that don't normally allow touching will let you because they see you can behave yourself and only do what they are okay with you doing.

So this girl does what many do - she starts to put my hands on her. It turns into just your standard dance with handfuls of ass and tits. Many girls will wave their pussy in front of your face a bit, slap it some, and some will even finger themselves in front of you. This girl was doing that. Nothing new, but wait a minute, why is she grabbing my hand? Hmm, she's sucking my fingers like a dick. Then...she starts to get a little bit more daring and putting my hand toward her pussy more and more. We're sitting in the back of the couch area, at the very last one. She turns toward the entryway of the couches so she can see any bouncers who come by, and she slips my hand behind her and inside her from the rear. Hello, full insertion of a couple fingers. So I'm fingerbanging her a little, then I start going deeper and deeper and OH SHIT, WHAT'S THAT? I'm 99% sure it was a tampon string. She HAD to know I hit that and felt it. Especially since I backed out for a bit after that like whoa there, wait a minute. Then I thought...ah fuck it. She knew it was up there long before I ever started diddling her, she didn't stop me, and seemed to be encouraging it, so I go back in. After a little, she grabs my hand and licks herself off my fingers. She continues her dance, doing a lot of the standard dancing grinds and moves and such, but we go back to fingerplay quite a few times. Before long, she's also started initiating some kisses and we're making out at the same time.

Then she switches it up and for like 3 songs in a row, she does nothing but lay up against me, her hand between her legs while she's playing with herself. I'm not entirely sure because she was doing a lot of the work herself at that point, but I'm pretty sure she got off on me then. Then she went back to dancing again. She was quite wet at that point, so that sort of went into my belief that she got off. Some more making out. This girl is dancing forever...in the back of my mind I'm like, "Oh fuck, I've been back here for what has to be like an hour. She's going to get up any minute and be like that's $400." But no...she keeps dancing. We were back there for another 5 songs or more after that. I lost track of dances, and I'm sure she did as well. Even at the cheapest dance rate she should have charged me a lot, which I'm sure she would have. After we finally finish, she tells me how much fun I am, and we talk for a few minutes, and I ask how much it was...dreading the answer. It was nothing close to what I thought it would be. She said she was discounting it because she was so turned on. So I'm going to guess between her doing nothing but laying on me, grinding while fingering, instead of the standard dancing stuff, plus her being really wet afterward, and then charging what is really almost nothing for how long we were back there (and what all we were doing)...she probably did get off.

All in all, aside from the tampon, I'd say it was a pretty good night. I might have to look for her more. I'm not really sure of her interest in me other than money and a good fingerbang on a slow night there, but she seemed somewhat interested. You always have to be careful with strippers and their feigning interest just to play you for more money, but when they charge you damn near nothing and let you get away with shit that would get you kicked out of the club and them fired, you kind of have to think again. She kept saying things like, "What are you going to do with all of this?" and "What are you going to do with all of you?" and while I never said I was single, she clearly thought I was because she mentioned something about being single with all that. Of course I'd never get in a relationship with her - been down that road before, and I'm not traveling it again. However...she'd probably be a pretty good lay, so I guess I gotta keep my options and eyes open for her in the future.

[Ichron]

What the hell is with this bot shitting up my awesome story thread? I have a couple updates but I'm not gonna post them with silly bots messing up my thread.

[Caz]

HOLY SHIT THESE FAUCETS ARE INCREDIBLE